Joan on the Road

We arrived home from Tucson after a 7 hour smooth trip. We took the 85 bypass so we missed the Phoenix traffic and the weather was fine. I was dreading a wet mess at home after the big rain leak of last Friday but was pleased to find a clean, nearly dry carpet. MANY THANKS to son Jim who slurped up the wetness with the carpet cleaner and Granddaughter Naomi who took off work early to shampoo the carpet. Now the job is to FIND THE LEAK!!

We were able to help my niece and her family get the house and paperwork somewhat in order. When my sister flew to Tucson 10 days ago, she had her SILaw drive a truck load of furniture cross country. What a guy to do that when there was really no hope for Bobbi to enjoy a life in Tucson. But everyone did everything they could to honor her wishes.

The truck of furniture arrived on Friday, the day before she died. You can imagine that it was very hectic there. We all did the best we could to make her last hours quiet and comfy but the days after were chaos. So we moved furniture, sorted through paperwork, met with the funeral home director, comforted the kids and finally decided that all problems would not be solved in a week and we had to move on.

My sister wanted no services, at all. She will be cremated. Her desire was that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to hospice. We would have been lost without them. Hospices are connected through a nationwide association. Contributions are used to assist families in need with travel vouchers and such.

Today will be relaxation for us and then with several days of sunshine ahead, we hope to find the little crack in the caulking that allowed the flood to happen!

Posted by Joan at 09:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

We arrived in Tucson at my niece's home about 5 PM on Saturday. My sister, Bobbi, had fallen into a coma early in the day. I immediately sat beside her bed, held her hand, spoke to her and stroked her head. She seemed to respond to me, turning her head toward me.

Her breathing was labored and soon slowed down. She would take a deep breath then there would be nothing for 30 seconds, then longer and longer between breaths. And then she stopped breathing about 6 PM. My niece had been telling her all day that I was coming. We are convinced that she knew I was there and then she passed away peacefully.

Bobbi was 62. Two months ago she thought life was going along just fine. Then she developed stomach problems, went to emergency and gallstones were diagnosed. In prep for surgery they discovered a blockage in her pancreatic duct. She was in extreme stess. After internal endoscopies doctors determined she had masses in both pancreas and liver. The outlook was grim and chemo would add only a brief time to her life.

She opted for no chemo. She was heavily medicated for pain and with the help of a wonderful hospice organization was able to fly with her daughter from Florida to Tucson to live her last days with hospice help at her daughter's home. Even as I write I just think, my God, how can this happen so fast. I've had just about enough of this damnable "C" word!

She was courageous to the end. She tried her best to get her life in order and to live with joy almost until the last day. I'm sorry I couldn't be with her when she was still aware. I'm glad that we are able to be here to help out her daughter's family to deal with the trauma and stress.

We cannot say enough good words about the hospice organization. Their goal is to make the patient comfortable AND to counsel and assist the family through the final hours of a loved one. They helped us all deal with and get through a very emotional experience. I thank them.

Posted by Joan at 07:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today is day six of rain! This is like a 200 year storm for SoCal. Here in Hemet it rained 24 hours straight yesterday. We had some wind gusts but not as bad as other areas near Riverside. Today all our weather resources are in conflict...rain, snow, wind...who knows what. But it will be over soon.

We are heading out to Tucson tomorrow. 450 miles that we plan to drive in one day and stay at a hotel so I can be near my sister. I hope I'll have some quality time with her. She is pretty heavily sedated. Jim commented this morning that maybe we should take the motorhome and then we wouldn't have to be concerned about how long we stay. I'm not ready for that.

You know we've been off the road for so long that I get anxious just thinking about getting back in the swing of travel. I couldn't add that to my level of stress about my sister. This is a time when I just have to keep repeating in my head, "It is what it is."

Jim is at the car dealer getting the new window switch put in this morning. I have to do some laundry and pack our bags. Jim will pick up a short list of grocery snacks to take along and we'll hit the road early tomorrow. I may not post here for a week or so...just have to see how it goes.

Posted by Joan at 08:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We had some errands to do in Orange County today so we looked for a window of no rain and were ready to head out about 8:45 AM for the 2 hour drive. But before we left the park I rolled down the car window and then it stuck and wouldn't go up!! Well da#$! Back home we go and then Jim took the car to the dealer who wiggled the switch and got it up. No charge...but no switch replacement. It will be a couple of days before we get it fixed and are charged a couple of big bills :)

We did almost beat the rain. Got home about 1:30 and an hour later the big rain and wind came. I thought the awning was going to take off and visibility was down to near zero. But we need the rain so no complaints.

I had slow cook ribs going so we just relaxed and napped this afternoon while dinner cooked and it poured. Then we enjoyed dinner while we watched the results come in for the Massachusetts election. Wow!! What an upset! It will be very interesting to watch the maneuvers in DC as the power balance changes. Will health care pass? Is there a new mood in the country? Time will tell if this is a turning point.

Posted by Joan at 08:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hello! Can I rewind this year? It seems like one thing or another keeps me in a state of stress and I just haven't wanted to write. My apologies to you my readers. It worries me when bloggers I read seem to drop off the face of the earth. But we haven't...at least not yet :)

Both Jim and I have had a cold and cough since the second week of December. Mine is disappearing. Jim, having two lung surgeries, has had a harder time getting rid of the cough. Sometimes it just drives me crazy!! The onco Doc says it's lasting because his lungs are irritated. On the very bright side the surgeries are done and he has no doctor appointments for a month!! Neither do I. Jeez...it's been more that a year since we've had a month free from appointments. Guess that calls for celebration ...not stress.

My sister who lived in Florida is critically ill. Her daughter has been with her and they have now traveled to Arizona where daughter lives. This is truly amazing. Sister was helped by hospice to fly cross country and relocate. I am in awe of her toughness and am so impressed with the support she received from hospice. We hope to go visit her in Tucson next week.

We've had 2 major computer disasters resulting in "wipe and go" as the guys say. Yikes! This involves Jim sitting at the computer muttering and cursing to himself. Very stressful! No wonder he can't get rid of his cough. Then last night my email program went berserk and ultimately I lost everything...old messages, contacts, email folders. Oh well! In the entire scope of things it's not the end of the world. I"ll just have to wait for peope to email me and then I'll have their addresses.

I got a notice from my Part D Prescription plan that one of the drugs I take (post cancer for 5 years) is increasing in price to $200 a month! Yikes! very stressful. My doctor tells me it will become generic this spring and then it will only be $4. Does this all make sense? Hopefully, it will be generic soon!

Today is a dark, gloomy, stormy, windy, rainy day. In fact the whole week is predicted to be this way. Maybe that's why I'm motivated to write. "It was a dark and stormy night...."

Wherever you are, I hope all is well in your world. Mine has to get better soon.

Posted by Joan at 01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My wish and my hope for us all is that we're turning the page to a new year...a new decade...and our lives will be healthy. If we know one thing it's that having good health is about the most important thing we can strive for.

To that end, I opened up and installed my Wii Fit Plus this morning and did the initial balance testing and weighing. Well the Wii says I'm in good shape but my BMI is not good. I won't go furtther than that :) I tried a little of this and that on the yoga and know that I'm going to enjoy this form of exercise. Thanks to son, Jim!

We are also enjoying the ViewSonic Media Center...getting movies on the hard drive and then watching them. We have 301 DVDs so this will take awhile (and a couple more hard drives) but Wow...it is so neat just to pick the movie from the screen. Thanks to Renee and Tom!

We had a very quiet and sober New Year's eve. My sister is very ill and I spent time with my niece on the phone as she was with her Mom. Our hearts go out to this family in distress.

For us....we sure hope 2010 outshines this last year.....turn the page :)

Posted by Joan at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)