Joan on the Road

One of the Grandkids is working at Ronald McDonald Camp up in the mountains. She left a message about how much she is loving the camp and the kids and she "wished I didn't have to go back to the real world." That got me to thinking.

I responded to here that "whatever world you are in is the real world." I looked up the word.."real". Not fiction; actual, provable, true. So wherever you are, whatever you are doing...that is your "real" world. Work life, vacation, RV life, hospitals, gardening, divorce, raising kids, studying,...all real at the time.

Sometimes we escape for short periods of time into a novel or movie or TV show. The reality is what we're doing...the escape is where our minds go. One of my friends says that my reality (real world) is different than hers. How could that be? Even when we are sitting in the same room?

What we think and do and feel determines our own individual reality...thoughts, actions, emotions. My friend and I can have breakfast together but her perception and mine of what the morning was like will be different...each with our own thoughts, actions and emotions as we interact with each other and our surroundings. Top that off with the attitude we each bring....and yes, our worlds are different. Amazing.

Where ever we are then, the world around us is real. What we think, do and feel about that creates our personal reality. Does that make sense? It does to me....JMHO (just my humble opinion). Reminds me of a line in Tombstone when Wyatt says he just wants a normal life. Doc Holiday, who is dying, says, "There is no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life."

Posted by Joan at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The body is an amazing machine. I can almost feel my little cells repairing themselves :). Today I was able to vacuum the floors, clean a couple of sections of carpet with Folex, go the the library, go grocery shopping and fix supper. That is way more than I could do a week ago!

Plus...I worked on my Farm a lot. Doing a big remodel. Moving houses, planting trees, channeling the river....yikes! Now that is work.

Plus...I love Mondays. The Closer and Raising the Bar on TNT then pick up on a baseball game. After yesterday's 10-1 loss by the Angels' I was ready to not watch. But I can't be a fairweather fan. Got to take the good with the bad.

I fixed a really good dinner too. Or is it supper? Never knew the difference. If supper is less formal then we had supper...BLTs and sweet corn! Farm fresh veggies. I could eat that meal every day of the week in the summer. The corn was so fresh it made my mouth water just to shuck it. The heirloom tomatoes were deliciously juicy.

I may just need to make more tomorrow!

Posted by Joan at 08:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My energy level is getting better!! Yippee! Yesterday I walked over to the office to pick up mail. May not sound like much to you but it was an achievement for me because when I got back I wasn't out of breath...didn't feel the need to rest for half an hour.

Last night I made a Key Lime Pie and then did the dishes. No big deal you say. Oh yeah, it is when you haven't even been able to take a shower without resting. Why Key Lime? The park we're at, Orangeland RV Resort, must have been a citrus orchard many years ago. The owners have maintained the illusion so there are fruit trees on most spaces. We have a little grapefruits tree. Periodically, the crew picks the fruit and offers it free at the office. Jim picked out 15 Key Limes to make a pie....not quite enough so we had to supplement with Renee's limes. Today will be the taste test :)

Son Jim took us to lunch Wednesday at PF Changs. That was my Jim's choice because he loves the Crab Wonton appetizer. I pigged out on Lettuce Wraps and had Lemon Chicken for the entree. There was enough to cover supper too! It is sooooo nice to enjoy eating again!

Jim had a blood check on Thursday and his red count was too low so we wound up spending unplanned hours at the hospital for transfusions. But he immediately has more energy and feels better. The only clue I ever have that Jim is feeling chemo effects is when he takes a two hour nap in the afternoon. Very unlike him. Next week is the CAT/PET scan and then we'll know the next steps.

I realized this morning that I haven't been smiling much because we were eating breakfast and joking about stuff when I found I was using muscles in my face that I hadn't felt in a long time....nice relaxed smile muscles. Geez...I must have been a real drag to live with these last several months. But I plan on giving those face muscles a good workout in the coming months !!

Posted by Joan at 09:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

With a very low energy level I've had to find things to do that aren't demanding...at all. I mean making the bed is just about too much. A month of doing nothing may sound wonderful to those who are overworked, underpaid and involved in the world of work and school. But it gets boring!

So what did I do all this time? I guess I should add that my brain was low energy too. Honestly, I have had a hard time focusing on anything of any importance. Just get through it, I guess I was saying to myself.

Reading, watching TV too much, playing FarmTown on the internet, watching the Angels games, eating....that's about it. Jim has been waiting on me hand and foot. Lucky me. Actually, lucky us. He had so few side effects that he has been able to keep up with all the necessities...including laundry!!

I came upon a new (to me) author and am into about the seventh book about Doc Ford in Florida. Randy Wayne White is the author. The books are a little mystery, marine biology, spy story, political commentary and hippie wisdom. Pretty well written and articulate. I wish I could have found the books in order because there are characters that reappear in each story. I like to read this kind of author.

Playing FarmTown has been crazily addictive. Sometimes I just can't keep from looking to see what is happening on my farm or my neighbors'. Several family members are playing along with a few friends. There's a little competition going to see who maintains the biggest farm, the most money and experience points. It is quite an online community...read somewhere that over 8 million are playing around the world. I think you need to be a member of Facebook to get into FarmTown. Couldn't get a link to work here !!

I think that FarmTown really fulfilled a need for me during this stressful time. Part of the playing is very repetitive...brain gets mesmerized and relaxed while plowing :) Another part is creative....designing the farm layout, improving it, planning for expansion. Part is analytical...what crop, how much to spend, how long to grow it, what will be my return. And competitive....how can I beat Brad !!! (JK Brad) Lots of it is connecting with all the neighbors through chatting and working their farms...that's fun and lots of laughs. I think it's the perfect game for people who are involved in long recuperations.

Tonight we'll enjoy leftovers from yesterday (I cooked1!) while watching another Angels game. Yesterday we caught a double header...they won both over KC!! Today....sweep the series! Maybe tomorrow I'll have a little more energy :)

Posted by Joan at 04:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I hardly know how to start writing again. But I'll give it a shot because I can share good news. Finally, I'm done with all treatments for breast cancer!! That was surgery, three months of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiation treatment.

My friend, Vickie, says I came through the whole thing very well. She's right! Comparing my reactions and side effects with other gals...I had it pretty easy. What I'm left with now is hair about 1/4 inch long, one missing toenail, icky looking fingernails. very low energy and a red boob :) All those things will fix themselves over time. Most important to me right now is getting back my energy. The doc says a couple of weeks.

To top all this off both Jim and I got bad cases of bronchitis (our immune systems were pretty shot) so that zaps our energy also. Yesterday I finally began to feel like a cloud was lifting from my brain and maybe I could string a few words together. I swear I have a bit of chemo brain....trouble remembering things. Like how to upload pictures. Simple stuff that I have to let gel in my brain to get it back. I guess that will go away too....I hope!!

Jim had his last (hopefully) chemo treatment today and in the next few week will have a CAT scan to determine if the tumors in his lungs have shrunk enough to have the RFA treatment. Jim had 3 tumors. One is now GONE, the other two have decreased substantially. The RFA (Radia Frequency Ablation) treatment consists of inserting a "needle" into the tumor and then using a radio frequency to blast it away. The doctor is very encouraging that this will be successful.

That's the health updates for now. We feel lucky to have been in a place with such great health care. It's been a real drag going to the hospital almost every day but the staff has made the experience pretty pleasant.

Posted by Joan at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)