Joan on the Road

In mid October I had my annual physical check up and the doctor found a lump in my breast. OK….mammogram confirmed that and recommended a biopsy. By this time it’s four weeks later and I’m stressing the whole time. The biopsy result is cancer.

When I got these results a couple of days ago I was able to talk to a surgeon immediately who gave me some reassuring words. It is small, caught early and will likely require just a lumpectomy and possible radiation.

Behind this brief description of what happened are days and weeks of anxiety, dark thoughts, and depression. I did not want to talk to anyone or have anyone know what was happening, including family. My friend Vickie says this is my way of controlling the world. Dummy me! J I felt great relief when I shared my news with family and friends. Today I feel like the black cloud over my head may just be gray and the sun will come out tomorrow!

Part of my despair was something else I haven’t told you. Back in January we found out that Jim’s bladder cancer (2005) had metastasized to his lungs. It was an incidental x-ray finding after he had a cold and cough. He still feels perfectly fine and is doing all kinds of alternative therapies to ensure he stays fine.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we both have cancer. I look at people around me and wonder what kind of “issues” they have going on in their lives and how do they manage to keep on going.

Livestrong! That’s what the yellow band on my wrist says. (Thank you Zach!) So time to put on my big girl panties and just deal with it.